8 Strategies for Overcoming Loneliness in the New Year
Do you feel lonely at this time of year?
If so, you’re not alone (however ironic that may be). Loneliness is sadly more common than ever, and many people are struggling with feeling isolated at this time of year.
As the year draws to a close, it’s common to reflect on what went well for you over the past 12 months, and what you’d like to change. One issue that comes up over and over in our counseling sessions is people struggling with loneliness. Loneliness is a common experience and, in many ways, a growing public health issue.
We’re lonelier than ever
Research indicates that loneliness is a serious issue, impacting around 21% of adults in the US. A 2024 Harvard study indicated that:
67% of respondents do not feel part of meaningful groups
61% do not have enough close friends or family
65% feel fundamentally disconnected from others or the world
63% do not feel that their place in the world is important or relevant
Why does this matter?
As humans, we’re social animals. We’re literally designed to survive in groups, not as individuals. When we experience loneliness (the feeling of not being meaningfully connected to others) and isolation (having a lack of social contacts and social interaction), it’s distressing. It feels like a real threat to our survival when we don’t have meaningful connections with other people.
Feeling threatened (even subconsciously) can seriously impact your physical and mental health. Chronic loneliness has been shown to contribute to conditions like depression, anxiety, heart disease, and even reduced life expectancy.
Why is loneliness worse now?
While loneliness has always been a mental health concern, the pandemic dramatically increased the number of people experiencing loneliness and isolation. The COVID-19 pandemic disrupted our social routines and left us feeling disconnected from the people we care about. The varying approaches people had to managing pandemic safety also increased loneliness and isolation for many people, and the increasing polarization of the US added even more disconnection.
Lots of people have experienced major shifts in their social circles in the last 5 years, whether it’s due to political divides or disagreements about public health measures. This combination of factors has created a landscape where loneliness feels more pervasive than ever.
Winter is a time of year where loneliness is common.
For some, the holidays are a whirlwind of social gatherings, family events, and endless to-do lists. Once the activity slows, the quiet can feel jarring, leaving space for loneliness to surface. For others, the holidays may have been isolating—perhaps due to estrangement, loss, or physical distance from loved ones. If you weren’t able to celebrate with the people you care about, those feelings of disconnection might feel even more intense now.
The winter months also bring shorter days and colder weather, which can compound feelings of sadness and isolation. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a reality for many people, and loneliness during this time of year can make it feel even harder to stay engaged with life.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by loneliness this winter, know that you won’t feel this way forever. Here are some things you can try:
Reach out to someone every day
We all deserve to have people to talk to, and with more people feeling lonely than ever, taking the time to actually reach out can make a big difference. It’s easy to talk yourself out of reaching out by thinking you’ll be bothering them or that no one wants to hear from you, but that’s the loneliness talking.
There are people out there who care about you and would love to hear from you. Taking a few minutes each day to connect with someone, whether that’s sending a text message, talking on the phone, or even just sending them a meme on social media, can help you feel less alone.
Advocate for better social infrastructure
Part of the reason loneliness is so rampant is that it’s hard to find places to gather in our communities that are accessible to everyone. If you’re able to, it can make a big difference to advocate for your community to improve access to accessible accommodations, housing and transportation, accessible community spaces, and community focused events to help bring people together.
Explore what interests you
Is there a hobby or interest you’ve been wanting to explore? Trying something new can be a great way to meet new people who have similar interests and values, while having fun. No matter what you’re interested in, there’s a class or workshop about it somewhere, probably even closer than you think. It’s easier to connect with people when you’re talking about things that bring you joy, like your hobbies. Making time regularly to engage in your interests can help open you up to new connections and new experiences.
Start small
When we’re lonely, it’s easy to believe that connection is out of reach, but that’s not actually true. You can practice making connections with people, which will build your confidence over time and make you feel more capable.
Start with small interactions, and build up from there. Introduce yourself and say hello to your neighbors, chat with the barista at your local coffee shop, or strike up a conversation with someone walking their dog. These brief exchanges may not feel ground-breaking, but they help build a sense of community.
Find a community (IRL or virtually)
No matter who you are and what you’re interested in, there is a community for you. Look for groups that align with your interests, values, or identity. Whether it’s a book club, a volunteer organization, or a support group, connecting with others who share your experiences can reduce feelings of isolation.
If in-person gatherings feel daunting or aren’t accessible, virtual communities can be a great option. Platforms like Meetup, Discord, or even social media can help you find groups with shared interests. While virtual connections aren’t a replacement for face-to-face interaction, they can still provide meaningful support and companionship.
Find a way to help others
One of the best ways to feel like you are connected to others around you is to find a way to help someone. There are so many different ways to get involved in your community, and everyone has skills to offer. Helping people in your community can help you feel a sense of belonging and purpose, and help you meet other people, who often have similar values to you.
Do you know how to knit or crochet? Find an organization that makes hats and scarves for unhoused neighbors. Do you like to walk? Many neighborhoods have groups that pick up trash regularly, so you can take a little walk and help maintain your neighborhood. Can you donate funds or supplies somewhere? Could you give someone a ride, or accompany someone to an appointment?
No matter what it is you have to offer, your contributions are valuable and can help you feel more connected to your community.
Let yourself feel awe
Experiencing emotions like awe can help us remember that we’re not alone in the world, and one great way to experience awe is to view beautiful things like art or nature. Try going to a museum and viewing art, or visiting a park and walking through the trees.
We have many options around us in New York City for experiencing art, cultural events, and nature. There are also lots of options available virtually for exploring art and nature, if you’re not able to access these spaces physically. Making space for awe can remind you of the shared human experience and spark a sense of wonder.
Get support from a therapist
As therapists, loneliness is one of the most common issues we help our clients with. In therapy, we can help validate how you’re feeling, explore the root causes of your loneliness, develop coping strategies, and identify ways to build more fulfilling connections.
Therapy also provides a space to process feelings of rejection, grief, or estrangement that might be contributing to your isolation. Therapy can be an important pillar in your support system and help remind you that you have someone in your corner.
