Celebrating Sobriety: Navigating a Sober Holiday Season
Are you trying to make it through the holidays sober this year?
The holidays are supposed to be an uplifting time of year, where we get to celebrate and focus on joy. For those navigating sobriety, however, this time of year can be incredibly challenging. The stress and emotional toll of the holidays can make it tempting to revisit old coping behaviors, like substance use, even when you have the best intentions to stay sober. In addition, holiday gatherings often heavily feature alcohol and sometimes other substances, which can make maintaining sobriety much more difficult.
Because of this, the holidays can be a lonely time for people navigating sobriety. If you’re in recovery or trying to cut back on your drinking, you might be wondering how to handle the holiday season while staying sober.
What you should know about addiction
Addiction is not a moral failing or a lack of willpower; it’s a deeply complex interplay of genetic, biological, psychological, and social factors.
Substances like alcohol interact with the brain’s reward system, which creates cycles of chemical dependency that are difficult to break. Drinking may start as a way to relieve stress, cope with trauma, or handle loneliness, but over time, it can spiral into an issue that feels impossible to control. Addiction has serious ramifications, which is why it’s important to seek help when you can. Alcohol misuse can lead to significant mental and physical health problems, including depression, anxiety, liver damage, and impaired cognitive function.
While alcohol isn’t the only substance that people struggle with, it poses particular challenges because of its accessibility and social acceptance. It’s legal, relatively inexpensive, and it’s heavily marketed as a way to relax, to have fun, and to fit in with other people (implying that you can’t relax, have fun, or fit in with others if you don’t drink). It makes sense why we are drawn to using substances like alcohol when they’re considered essential to having a good time, and why not using alcohol could leave you feeling isolated.
The social impact of addiction
Addiction doesn’t just affect the person struggling with substance use; it impacts their loved ones and community. Family members and loved ones may feel tension, resentment, or worry when your alcohol use becomes a recurring issue. Friends and colleagues may not know how to help or what to say, and this dynamic can lead to isolation for the person struggling.
Shame and stigma also play a big role in the isolation that many people feel when navigating sobriety. The common misunderstandings that we have about addiction make it hard for people to understand that addiction isn’t something you can control. Many sober folks feel like they have to manage their challenges alone, which makes the process even harder.
Why is maintaining sobriety harder during the holidays?
Alcohol is deeply embedded in the ways we celebrate. From champagne toasts to mulled wine at holiday markets, drinking is normalized at nearly every turn during the holiday season. For people in recovery, these moments can feel like landmines. Invitations to bars, company holiday parties, or family gatherings that all feature free-flowing booze can bring up difficult emotions, from temptation to frustration.
There are ways to support your sobriety during the holiday season. Give these suggestions a try this year:
Be selective with your plans
Be mindful about the events you attend during the holidays this year so you can set yourself up for success. You don’t have to make it to every event you are invited to. It’s also okay to say no to gatherings that feel too centered around alcohol, even if that includes family traditions. If you’d like to see people in an environment that isn’t focused around drinking, seek out or suggest alternative activities like visiting holiday markets, enjoying a festive light display, or hosting a sober potluck with friends.
Practice what you’ll say ahead of time
It can be nerve wracking to go into an event knowing you’re not going to drink, and worried about what people will say. If you feel anxious about being asked why you’re not drinking, jot down some responses in advance, and practice saying them a few times so you feel more confident. A simple “I’m not drinking tonight” or “I’m focusing on my health” is often enough. You don’t owe anyone a detailed explanation, and it’s okay to tell people that you’re not comfortable answering their questions if they won’t let up.
Bring beverages you enjoy
Being sober doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun drinks! Bring some beverages that you enjoy and that feel special to you, so you don’t feel left out of the celebrations. Having a non-alcoholic beverage in hand can help ease social situations, especially when drinking is a focus of the event for others. Many grocery stores now stock creative non-alcoholic options like sparkling waters, alcohol-free wines, or herbal sodas, and you can find inspiration for fun alcohol free drinks on social media so you can still feel festive.
Have an exit strategy
Sometimes the best thing to do is leave if things are too uncomfortable or if you feel pressured to drink when you don’t want to. Give yourself permission to leave ahead of time, and then follow through on your exit strategy if you need it. It’s better to step away than to risk compromising your well-being. Figure out how you’ll excuse yourself and how you’ll get home. Maybe plan on a backup ride home, or plan to crash at a friend’s house so you have somewhere friendly to land after a stressful event.
Take care of yourself
The holidays can be overwhelming even without the added layer of maintaining sobriety, and taking care of yourself can easily fall by the wayside. Have a plan in place for how you’ll take care of yourself in busy times of year like the holidays, so you don’t have to think about it when you’re in the hustle and bustle. Prioritize activities that make you feel grounded, cared for, and relaxed. Make sure you’re nourishing yourself physically and mentally, and allow yourself to rest when you can. Winter is the perfect time to slow down and do less!
Seek out sober community
It can be incredibly comforting to have a community of people who know exactly what you’re going through. Sober communities make a real difference for people navigating recovery, especially during tough times. Recovery groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or SMART Recovery offer meetings both in-person and online. These spaces provide connection and encouragement from people who have been where you are and who can relate to your experiences. Many groups even host sober holiday events, which can be a comforting alternative to traditional gatherings.
Work with a therapist
Having a strong support system makes a big difference in maintaining sobriety. Therapists can be an invaluable piece of your support system, especially during times of year where sobriety is harder to maintain, like the holidays. A therapist can help you explore the root causes of substance use, develop coping strategies for triggering moments, navigate the emotional ups and downs of sobriety, and help you find resources and providers that can help you in your recovery journey.
