5 Tips for Coping With Stressful Moments
Do you struggle to manage stress?
Life can be stressful, and we will all feel stress from time to time. It’s often a passing state, even though it’s distressing. When stress doesn’t pass and becomes chronic, it can get in the way of day to day functioning and impact physical and mental health.
Stress can lead to, among other things:
Irritability and mood swings
Changes in appetite
Digestive issues
Brain fog
Muscle aches, body aches, and headaches
High blood pressure
Sleep problems
Fatigue or low energy
Feeling depressed
Frequent illnesses
Difficulty focusing
Increased substance use
Stress is tough because trying to lower your stress level can sometimes cause stress in itself. Trying to figure out where to start to manage your stress can feel impossible when you’re already stressed out. That’s why finding ways to cope before you are in the middle of a stressful moment is important. Being prepared for your next stressful experience can make a big difference.
Finding the root cause of stress
Learning how to cope with stress is important in moments when you’re overwhelmed, but it’s equally important to address the root cause of your main stressors, or it will remain an issue. It’s best to deal with the root cause of your stress when you’re not in a moment of distress so you can think clearly and calmly.
Root causes of stress can be:
Job dissatisfaction
Financial problems
Communication issues
Unclear or no boundaries
Family dynamics
Trauma
The goal of stress management
The goal of stress management isn’t to never be stressed again. We’re all going to have stress in our lives, and it can be hard to predict. Instead of eliminating stress entirely, the goal is to increase your resilience to stress.
With an increased resilience to stress, you’ll feel less controlled by your stress and more able to manage it when you do feel stressed. You’ll learn what works and what doesn’t work for you when it comes to managing stress over time. It might take some trial and error to find coping skills that work for you, but don’t give up! Eventually you’ll find ways to cope with stress that feel supportive to you.
Here are 5 tips to help you learn how to manage stress in your life:
Take a pause
Stress often feels very urgent. You might experience racing thoughts or even panic attacks when they’re stressed. You might feel like you can’t relax or that you’re only able to think in extremes instead of noticing the middle ground when you’re stressed. When you learn how to take a pause in the middle of a stressful moment, it can help lessen those feelings of urgency and give you a chance to come back to your rational self.
Sometimes stress comes in the form of wanting to change things in the past, or sometimes it comes from worrying about the future. Either way, stress makes it hard for us to be in the present moment.
Starting a meditation practice can help you learn how to slow down and re-orient yourself to the present moment and slow down. Meditation teaches you how to sit with your thoughts without judgment and be compassionate toward yourself, both of which can be helpful in moments of stress.
Set boundaries
Everyone needs boundaries of some sort. Even when the people around you mean well, it can be stressful to have no boundaries or unclear boundaries. Boundaries are often misunderstood, even though they’re talked about a lot.
Boundaries aren’t about controlling other people or about ending relationships. Instead, boundaries are a way to preserve close relationships. When you have clear boundaries that you feel you can enforce, it’s less likely that you’ll feel resentful toward others for things that upset you.
Boundaries are about how you will behave. Let’s say that you have a parent who isn’t happy with your career choice and won’t stop bringing it up. Instead of saying, “You need to stop talking about that right now,” setting a boundary would be saying “I’m happy with my choices and they are mine to make. When you bring up your feelings about my career choice, I’m going to have to end our conversation.” Then, when your parent brings up this topic again, follow through and end the conversation. Walk away, hang up, put down your phone, whatever it takes.
Boundaries are powerful, but the key is enforcing them so you can benefit. Enforcing your boundaries doesn’t make you mean. It’s okay to let people know you’ve reached your capacity. It’s okay to say no when you need to. It’s okay to make some topics about your life off-limits for conversation. It’s okay to stick up for your beliefs.
Make time for yourself
When you’re stressed, it might feel like you don’t have any time for yourself. Taking a break or making time for yourself might sound like it can cause more stress, but self-care is a buzzword for a reason.
It really is important to look after yourself, even when you feel like you don’t have time, or eventually you’ll feel totally depleted. Even if you prefer to help others instead of yourself, you have to care for yourself to keep doing that, or eventually you’ll run out of steam and have nothing left to give.
It might feel weird in moments of stress to step away or take a break to focus on yourself. Remember that relationships take work and your relationship with yourself is included in that. Giving yourself the gift of time for yourself to practice self-care and replenish yourself can help you improve the relationship that you have with yourself so you feel more able to deal with your situation.
Listen to your body
Learning how your body feels when it’s stressed can make it easier to tune into your emotional state and find ways to cope in the moment. The next time you feel really stressed out, try to notice what that feels like in your body. Does your throat or chest feel tight? Are your muscles tensed, or maybe shaking? Are your thoughts racing or are you feeling brain fog?
Once you know how your body feels when you’re stressed, you’ll be able to pick up on clues that you need to use your coping skills so you don’t get to a point where you are totally overwhelmed by your stress.
Your body can also give you clues as to how to cope with stress. If you’re feeling tense or jittery, try engaging in some type of movement, like doing a workout video on YouTube, to lower your stress level. If you’re feeling short of breath, try a breathing exercise or a breathwork practice to get back to your normal breathing. If you’re feeling exhausted, take a nap or a break.
Lean on your support system
Connection is healing. It can make a huge difference to have a friend or loved one you can vent your stress to or who can help distract you in times of stress. We’re not meant to go through things alone or to figure everything out ourselves.
Connecting with other people is not just healing in itself, but talking it over with someone else can give you ideas for how to solve problems or new ways to approach a situation. Even just having someone you care about give you a hug and validate your feelings can make a huge difference. Don’t feel like you have to deal with everything on your own.
If you’re looking for a way to add to your support system in times of stress, working with a therapist can help. Our therapists at Anchor Counseling New York can provide you with a safe and stable environment where you can explore the root causes of your stress and find coping skills that work for you. Our therapists are accepting new clients - schedule an appointment today to get started.
Blog authors all hold positions at Anchor Counseling. For more information about our therapists and services please contact us.
